Monthly Archives: January 2013

Today, Just for

I took my son to his dentist appointment, his first to be exact.  State funded insurance.  Like most things government run it standards are particular to the area in which you live.  I found myself in spring branch 77055…english is not used and having lived in 3rd world countries before, the scene did not shock me but it certainly stirred up emotions as to what I should do with my life.  Lets be more specific, it made me realize that like it or not…be it a conspiracy or an act of involuntary fruition…the poor are slowly being culled from the proverbial herd.  I didn’t leave the third world to be thrown into another.

Have I wasted time… perhaps, but the past is now out of my control..I have no delorean (which by the way is a shitty choice of vehicle if you want to reach top speeds quickly aside from the cool doors they have no true allure..hence they died after the 80s).  The immediate solution is of course to go through the bureaucracy and change my primary care provider to something closer to my area and obviously more agreeable to my standards.  Most people would have seen this as the simple solution to a simple problem, but I saw things deeper I saw rooted sense of urgency.  Sure I would trade one shitty situation for a less shitty one and go about my way but thats not what I´m about.  It aint how I roll, If I´m going to survive this proletariat holocaust which like it or not is coming then I better smarten the F up and quick.

This pressure to move move move I´ve put on myself for some time.  Its not easy to smell the roses and although my days are filled with responsibilities with taking care of a family and houshold with all its burdens, I feel like I am merely existing at the end of the day…simply surviving or to be more exact wasting time and bringing me closer to oblivion.

I forget sometimes that many in my position would simply stay on the couch and wait to travel form one meeting to the next out of fear that any more responsibility would lead to relapse or insanity.  Not to toot my own horn but if you knew me then you would know that I´m a person that needs to be told to relax and take credit for my small achievements now and then.  But that is not enough for me, so i drive myself to stress under the immense pressure I put under myself to perform the impossible, return to school (something realistic …no PHD in astrophysics for me) and have the perks of decent healthcare and a sustainable life or suffer the inevitable consequences.  I know of neuroplasticity and although it seems impossible many like me have done far greater things.  Through this platform I could hope to shoot off into a state of higher wealth and prepare for the apocalypse.  Its not so much a choice but a necessity…which i guess is lucky for me.  Choices ruin a man, its when you are stripped of your freedom that you are at the highest point of liberty..liberty from your own self.  I thank god for driving me into this life but I curse the arduous path laid out for me because dreaming of doing things is far easier than actually doing them.  Movies last an average of 80-120 mins (unless we´re talkin schindlers list or that freakin hobbit movie that had like 20 endings before the credits actually rolled).  Movies dont capture the day to day battles that lead to the arch or the change of the protagonist into something greater.  To quote the great Christopher moltisanti “Its like the regularness of life is gettin to me”.

This is when we are forced to set humanism aside and look on towards the horizon..spirituality…I tend to over obsess and go off into a tangent but it is in this tangent that we find our answers.  To climb into the depths of hell only to reach up and  out time and time again.  It separates the men from the mice.  All the while keeping humility too.. which separates the men from the megalomaniacs.  We need the help of the heavens to truly achieve the impossible.  Humanism is after all what brought on this impending holocaust…putting faith in humans lead to the decision to wipe out the burdens of humanity…be it for the earths sake or for the march of world order blah blah..any half brain dead internet navigator knows what I´m talking about…but its one thing to know and its another to transform yourself from whining victim into survivor and I wondered why great magnates were so cynical.. cite any rags to riches story and you´ll find a man who finds failure from others unacceptable.  The few great leaders who also maintained their humility and love for humanity..those are the ones that should truly be emulated.  But we can learn form all, (to be fair) at least in some way everyone is a teacher of something.

WE need a spiritual society but we also need to play the game, the system or “machine” can not be changed at least not form the outside…we must join the ranks of the oppressors if we hope to change the world but we risk losing ourselves and becoming one of them.  That is why we must constantly humble ourselves the more we advance.  300 bows or 30 mins of bowing while reciting the lords prayer is my way, it brings focus and also shows your gratitude towards something greater than myself.  Balancing act of the world we live in and the one we can not see.

For me anyway, it will begin with my continuing commitment to brain education, consistent training and discipline molds the mind…doing what seems too hard at times.  Also the groups, free therapy, a comfort zone and also a lesson in humility not just the awe of those who have made it but the acceptance of those who might never make it.  This is easier said than done when society has little room for those who have been afflicted by demons.  We are burdens just as those at the state sponsored clinic, they dont care about your race or your personal history..age sex or creed…your ability to play the game..specifically to make money is the only thing that separates those that will be eliminated and those that will hope to survive.

But it is a daily battle.  So Just for today but all the while planning for tomorrow…I have not the answers but lord willing they will be revealed if I follow the path.  Thank you for taking my will for I have not earned that right yet…I had squandered it and I give it up willingly.  Take my will and my life and show me the way, I will follow with little resistance but I will bitch and moan until it becomes a force of habit..sorry bigun but I´m only human I guess…thats what we do best, complain.

Life looks bleak until you find the right path or until you learn to make a habit of changing your perception despite the reality taken in the with the five senses…but still you need to be atleast wandering towards a path.


NO ANSWERS (thats my sign off/tag /catch phrase/whatevs)

Jack´s Nickelsuns (Band)

Jack´s Nickelsuns (Band) disambiguation
Eclectic musical ensemble
Often referred too as a performance concerto group, or travelling thespian music troupe. More than a music group Jacks Nickelsuns is more often than not described as an abstract, an entity not entirely of this dimensional plane, not easily described into words, atleast not earthly words…perhaps klingon (tlhIngan Hol). At any rate Rolling Stone attempted in vain to describe the noise pertruded by this cast of anonymous and invisible sentian lifeforms in its 1993 February issue by Ashley Wholevandersherskirt (a decade prior to the formation of said band). I quote ” More noise than music Jacks Nickelsuns is an experience more akin to a violent rape of the ear rather than music, a violation to the very essence of sound it comes on slow and uncomforatble but slowly as it moistens becomes more pleasurable than the harnessing of the power of a thousand suns…part electrical subsidium, part posmodernist noise, as though japanese post apocalyptic post punk fathered an illegitimate child with the offspring of dutch hardtek slash drum and bass jungle core but then produced a baby who in turn copulated with the offspring of a post grunge grindcore speedcore and deathcore melodic emo and nuwave hop couple…if that mutt would later impreganate a trailer park bayou blues baptist country core in a drunken fling after a skynard concert..well you would still have nothing near to what Nickelsuns sounds like…in fact this would be the furthest thing from the Nickelsuns sound.”

Born in the early millennia, it was a dark time for Nickelsuns fans.  A time where Sum41 championed counterculture and Robbie Williams incessantly insisted to his DJ that he did in fact NOT want to rock, Nelly Furtado flew away and Nelly complained of the staggering heat and proceeded to remove his clothes.  It was in this era of great musical depression that much like the big bang Nickelsuns simply came to be as though through an act of God.

Many rumors are spread as to who and whom formed Jacks Nickelsuns but what we do know for sure or perhaps not at all is that it was much like the beginning of most things.. begun by two…two beings more than likely from the planet Xylan 5 in the Nebua789%4uut galaxy….which we all know has a extremely high cost of living and is constantly plagued by rabid dogs who often take to the streets preaching of impending doom.  It is no wonder that these beings emigrated from such a place to find a home in Marietta Ohio, which we all know is the place where most great rockstars are born.

Instantly they nurtured a massive cult following and it was then that they realized that it would behoove of them to create some actual music to satisfy these eager fans.  Their debut self titled album “Tetum und da aureolas” bordered on the indie dubstep sound and it was no surprise Radiohead and Nine inch nails opened for Nickelsuns that same summer.  One interview with Radiohead frontman Thom Yorke caught the singers admiration and awe of the bands sound, “Is this some sort of joke…put my name on your blog and I will sue you for every penny..”.  Truly heartwarming and inspiring words.

Sadly soon after their debut premiere the group disbanded.  It is rumored that they have gone on under various aliases to release their subsequent works, including but not limited to: Tenacious D, Des´Ree, Wu Tang Clan, Metallica, The faeries, the Beatles, The Strokes, Assy McGee, Dumbledores Army, Aldous Snow, The Vanilla Ices, Van Morrisson, Van Wilder, Steven Spielberg, The Who, KMFDM, Daniel Day Lewis, DeadMau5, My Morning Jacket, BoyzIIMen, Boyzone, Backstreet Boys, Boy George and Paul Thomas Anderson…to name a few.

No word came of Nickelsuns until early this year where it was written in the stars that  they would come again, in your ear pussies.  So we quietly await the 2013 release of “Not Yet Titled”, an all english album performed in swahili and syrian aramaic.

Jack´s Nickelsuns order it now while supplies are not existent.  Best band ever period.

WARNING Jacks´s Nickelsuns is not a band

Welcome Mr. Anderson

You’re probably wondering why Jack’s Nickelsuns?

Well, its how Toki Wartooth would call the guy in As Good as it Gets. Coincidentally it’s a great band name.

This is the first official post of our Blog, so it should be all about what this blog’s about. David, you’re likely the only one reading this and that’s part of this whole gig (that being said anyone who stumbles upon this thing can read it…if that’s what you’re into). I want us to use this blog to keep in touch, express what’s on our minds, and share what we may. Personally, I want to be liable to someone else when it comes to my plans for what to do with my life. It’s easy to tell yourself you’ll do something, then abandon it later when you’re feeling lazy and that no one will miss out if you ditch it to stay in bed instead. We both struggle with “finding the next step” in some sort of way. On my side I face a canvass on which to paint with the freedom of choosing what, yet I waver in uncertainty. I know happiness doesn’t come from constantly having options to choose from but the satisfaction of standing by a choice and seeing it to fruition. There’s a fear we all face when embarking on a metaphorical journey, and it sings of how much sweeter it’d be to simply let the journey die. We have an infinite set of paths to choose from, they all lead to the same place, the end isn’t what matters but following the path with heart that makes the difference.

We’ll both end up having a bunch of ideas and saying tons of stuff we may end up dropping. But as we find the ones that’re really important to us and worth sticking to, I want you to keep me in check that I do follow through with them, and I will do the same for you.

Alright, that’ll do for now. Write back with whatever you want. There’s a general jist to the blog but it’s really up to us to post whatever we want.